Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Sidekick vs. Roundhouse

Ahhh the perpetual debate. Sidekick or Roundhouse. It's like EE Cummings or William Carlos Williams. Sake or Soju. Knight Rider vs. Manimal. You see the sidekick is so simple. Kick to the side, no arc of hip, just up and out. Let's say for instance you need to kick down the wall to Jack In the Box because they forgot your hot sauce for your two-for-99cents tacos and you don't want to wait in the drive-through line again. That's sidekick time. Or you're holding a large box of items to take to the Goodwill and you need to knock on the neighbor's door to ask him to move his car out of the way since it is blocking yours in while pondering whether or not you should just take the subway instead and then he opens the door just when you change your mind and decide he must die now by second sidekick.

"Heya neighbor, what's with the box?"
"Oh yeah Hi Bob, yeah I'm just going over to the Goodwill to drop off these old snow-ninja outfits..."
"Yeah, I remember those were big when parachute pants were in."
"Yeah, don't make me moonwalk. haha. "
"Haha yeah...Frankie Says RELAX"
"Hahah yeah and Jelly shoes.... anywho, I was just wondering if you noticed that your car is just barely blocking me in. No big deal because I'm prolly just taking the subway anyway but, you know, just wanted to let you know..."
"Oh no really? Man I'm really sorry I had no..."
"DIEHIYASIDEKICKWATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(thud)

Simple. Straight to the point. Hard to block. Sidekick.

Now the roundhouse...that's a whole other story. The roundhouse is oldschool. Large sweeping kick that comes from a mile away. The roundhouse kick is the only kick that will actually text message you to let you know when it is arriving.

d00d, jUs wNtD 2 lEt u nO I wZ drPpNg bi 2 vist l8tR mAyB laNd on yr heD n kNoK u OuT K?

The roundhouse is easy to block. It is a very intentional kick, almost dramatic. No kick says you're my bitch like the roundhouse. It's good for finishing attacks, putting out candles across the room, closing microwave oven doors, and lighting other people's cigarettes. The roundhouse makes a statement.

I like both of them, the utility of the sidekick vs the expressionism of the roundhouse. Wow I'm going to have to go roundhouse kick somebody right now. Hmm oh yeah I got another neighbor that borrowed my potato ricer...

1 Comments:

Blogger Hanh said...

And now I can go continue calling my victim a bitch after I do the roundhouse kick.

Thanks for the info.

3:40 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home