Death of Batman
OK. One day, when I am dead, you will be reading this and I will do a little dance from beyond the grave when you read once and for all in the undeniable truth of this repository of all NinjaDad knowledge the following....
THERE IS NO REAL BATMAN
This sentence should ring familiar a distant childhood memory of the years and years in which I told you day after day after day that THERE IS NO REAL BATMAN.
Yeah you love Batman. You love Batman so much that every day you insist that we go find him.
And then you want him to fight me.
“Daddy find Batman! Daddy Fight! Batman Fight!”
Well there was Batman Rodriguez from Loisaida but that's another story altogether.
Every day, every night. Before naps and after waking from them. While on the potty, while brushing teeth. While falling fifty stories riding on my back, while throwing toy shuriken from your baby fanny pack. Day in, day out. Night out, night in. You never waiver....you never fail.....you never give up.....
“Daddy find Batman! Daddy, Batman, FIGHT!”
If our ticket puncher ever spit out the name Batman on our to-kill list then believe me son, I would find him and fight him and....c'mon let's get real here....I would take that dude out. I don't care how old I am. But unfortunately (for the both of us) he is not real. He's not like Santa.
Hmmm...wait a sec. If Batman and I were to fight....who do you want to win???
Hmmm...I didn't think about that one. A child's heart is fickle. I hope you pick me over Batman.
Remember, Batman doesn't buy you hot dogs at Gray's. Daddy buys you Gray's.
(bribery works on 3 year olds)