You Deserve Better

Dear NinjaSon,

Sorry little man. I am really sorry.

I blame you really.

As you know this place is a repository for all of my NinjaDad knowledge to be saved and deposited for your future reference when I am dead which I thought was going to be really soon since in my old age of 30something human years I am sure something is going to kill me and leave you orphaned.

Such things could be like maybe a pack of 1000 rogue ninjas. 100,000 Brooklyn mystics. The reservation system at Momofuku Ko. Godzilla if he caught me right after I ate and had a leg cramp.

Well I am going to be honest with you. I have not updated my repository of Ninja Knowledge aka NinjaDad.com because

a) I bought one of these tiny little netbook thingys with a tiny keyboard and even Ninjas can't type on these damned little machines from hell.

and

b) You make me feel like I will live forever.

It's true. These last few years with you have filled my existence with life. I see your mother in your smile. And it fills me with everything she was supposed to be and gives me such power that I know that I can accomplish anything other than that Ko reservation thing I mentioned earlier.

There is much that I have missed. Many lessons that I should have shared. But take this lesson to heart. You make me lazy. You are the answer to everything for me. I seek little. Well actually often I have to seek you out. Because you hide. Really really well you hide. Listen to me: No. Hide damn well: Yes. We still need to work on that one.

My happiness is no excuse for a lack of preparation and happiness alone cannot shield me from poison darts, giant monsters, leg cramps, or fans of David Chang.

The best time to dig a grave is in the warmth of summer listening to the laughter of friends.

Let me warm my hands.