Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Ninja Daycare

The whole Ninja Nanny thing definitely is not working out due to the fact that NinjaSon has not quite mastered the please don't stab the Nanny thing. Have you ever tried to enroll a Ninja Baby into daycare? Why oh why does every damn daycare in Manhattan 1) Hate Ninjas 2) Hate Ninja-Looking Babies. I mean actually it borders on racism...except for the fact that they really can't tell what race I am behind my hood, unless they're taking the racially ignorant leap of assuming all Ninjas are Japanese...um actually yeah all real Ninjas are Japanese. Hmmm. SO the past month has been a futile search for finding a place to protect my NinjaSon while I'm out busy making my way up the kill-people-for-money ladder.

How not to answer the Why are you dressed like Ninjas? question during the Daycare interview examination.

We're not Ninjas, we're allergic to sunlight dumbass

Oh that? That's a tiny little black burka my son is wearing. Um what? Sons don't have to wear burkas? No I said Myson, it's the female verson of Tyson. It was her grandmother's name.

SPF 9000 bitch

It's to hide the bruises.

We're extremely fucking famous


It's to hold all his teeny little weapons

Laundry Day

Is this a trick question?

Shockingly we have still not found a place to take him in. And the kid is getting harder to take along with me everywhere I go. It's just like that movie the Pursuit of Happyness except with like a lot more stabbing. I worry that in the end I will be faced with a choice to either find a new child-friendly path in life or build the world's deadliest wagon. Oh the toils we parents face.



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