Saturday, September 30, 2006

At the Pediatrician

(our usual pediatrician was sick so we waited two hours to see this guy)

Doctor: Well your baby is looking healthy, he's 50th percentile for height and weight...
NinjaDad: He's 100th percentile for Ninjosity.
Doctor: Umm...yes I see. And you said he started rolling over at what age?
NinjaDad: 3 days old.
Doctor: Oh you mean 3 months old?
NinjaDad: Are there more than 72 hours in 3 months?
Doctor: Well yes of course..
NinjaDad: Then no.
Doctor: Ok, whatever, three days it is.
NinjaDad: Thank You, that's what I said 5 sentences six.
Doctor: I let's take a look under your son's hat.
NinjaDad: What hat?
Doctor: The hat you're baby is wearing. I just want to see how he looks without the hat on.
NinjaDad: I would rather see how you look without your hands on.
Doctor: Hey now let's not get too testy here.
NinjaDad: See how you raise your hands when you say "Hey now let's not get too testy here"?
Doctor: Yes
NinjaDad: It wouldn't make much sense with no hands on the end of your arms...
Doctor: I don't think this is appropriate.
NinjaDad: ...people would be wondering if you were wanting them to kick a field goal at you.
Doctor: I'm just trying to do my job here.
NinjaDad: You must be a time traveler because you are trying to do your job two hours in the future.
Doctor: Umm, that doesn't make sense. You mean two hours in the past.
NinjaDad: Think it through.
Doctor: You people have a funny sense of humor.
NinjaDad: 10...9...8...
Doctor: What are you doing?
NinjaDad: You'll see.
Doctor: Well looks like little Jason is in great health and you'll be seeing your regular pediatrician in 3 months.
NinjaDad: Who's Jason? 7...6...5...
Doctor: Umm your son? It says here Jason?
NinjaDad: No it doesn't. 4...3...2...
Doctor: OK Mr. Ninja...then what exactly does it say?
NinjaDad: It says
Doctor: Hey did you just cut my hands off?


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